Etiquette for Adult Party Invitations With No Children Allowed

Local.com
June 20, 2011

Parents love nothing more than grown-up time, and an adults-only party is a great way to catch up with friends. But getting the message across that the little ones aren't invited can be tricky. There are ways to send that message without being negative or exclusionary, both subtle and direct. Consider the mood of the party and your relationship with the guests, then craft an invitation that will have your friends calling the babysitters.

No Kids Allowed
Etiquette guru Emily Post would blanch at the words “adults only” on an invitation, but etiquette rules are becoming more relaxed. If you know your friends won't take offense, simply print — in small text at the bottom of the invitation — ”Adults Only Please.” It is the easiest way to ensure that your guests won't be sharing caviar and crudites with a toddler. For weddings, the proper method is addressing the invitation to only the adults and hoping they are astute enough to interpret the message. Fortunately, there are other ways to send the message, “no kids allowed.”

Plan the Party Accordingly
Timing is everything, especially when it comes to planning parties. If the party begins at 8 p.m. or later, it should be clear that children are not invited. Most parents will realize that such a conflict with bedtime is reason to leave the kids at home. Another subtle message would be to list “cocktail party” on the invitation or state that the party is for grown-up fun. Certain themes are not appropriate for children. A barbecue or a pool party may be kid-friendly, but alluding to libations should send a clear message.

Be Direct
If the guests are close friends or people you are comfortable with, tell them personally that the party is for adults only. A good time to bring it up is when they call to RSVP. Preempt any argument by saying, “Won't it be fun to have a night away from the kids?” When all else fails, make excuses. “I wish we could fit everyone in our house” should put an end to the conversation.

Stand Your Ground
Making exceptions will only make an awkward situation harder. It would be unfair to your other friends to allow one exception, no matter how well-behaved the child or how booked the babysitter. If possible, have a list of babysitter candidates available if your guests suggest that finding a babysitter is difficult. You are not obligated to invite children, but you should accommodate them if someone fails to heed the message. It may be wise to have a kid-friendly snack on hand, but certainly not necessary. Don't let an uninvited guest spoil your fun.

References
Emily Post: Kids or No Kids? And How to Accommodate
Life Tips: Adults Only Party